When was the last time that you just stared into your lover’s eyes for longer than 15 minutes? I have been married to my husband, Justin, for almost 13 … no, for 12 years now. In that time, we have grown our spa business, school, and bed and breakfast. We’ve had four children.
Honestly, there have been many times where, we’ve just been like ships passing in the night.
We accomplish a lot of important things: getting the kids down for bed, making sure payroll goes out, on-going maintenance around the bed and breakfast. Just getting the laundry done for the spa and our family could be a legitimate part-time job!
Sometime, we just fall into bed at the end of the day with a quick, “Love you, honey.” Lights out.When it seems like we don’t have time, that’s the perfect time to Make Time. It doesn’t take much. Even once or twice a month could make a big difference in your relationship.
We’ve been lucky enough to keep our date night a priority. Once a week, we make time to enjoy one another. Date night has been scheduled as a part of our routine for quite some time. I thought we were doing great.
Then, this summer, my husband and I were sitting on the beach together when he said, “Gosh, do you remember that we used to love to dance together? That was so much fun. We should totally do that again.”
“Yeah. I would love to do that again.”, I said.
Of course, we came back from summer break and jumped straight back into work. Nothing changed. Same busy life.
A few weeks ago, my husband said to me, “I found a salsa class. It’s every Friday night, and I think that should be our date night from now on.”
I was so excited about it. Something different. Out of our routine dinner and a movie. Not the usual one hour of business meeting followed by two hours of “hanging out.”
“That sounds like a great idea”, I said.
This moments of connection have had a huge impact on our lives. to have those moments of connection. When we dance, I get to look into his eyes. Two hours of laughing, smiling, doing silly and crazy.
The last three weeks of dancing together have been some of the most wonderful experiences of our entire marriage. It’s really that profound.
There aren’t too many things you can do with one another at that level of intimacy outside of the bedroom. I love it!
We start the evening with a lesson and then we dance the night away.
Kumu Jeana
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4 thoughts on “How to Find Joy and Connection with Your Partner”
Aloha Iwalani,
this is a great post. And I am very glad you are enjoying this time just with Justin. You two really deserve this.
Much love,
Kai Petra
Mahalo Petra, it’s Friday night again and we are looking forward to salsa!!!
ohhhh thank you Jeana for sharing and yes it is very difficult and necessary to take care of the life of a couple! We are also in it and we are achieving it! This year I have proposed to have time also for my friends and friends of the soul literally q since we are little we know each other and we keep in touch but since we were fathers / mothers time does not play in our favor.
A very strong hug for all and good luck and enjoy in your union / exchange of lomilomi and Romiromi.
ohhhh gracias Jeana por compartir y siiii es muy difícil y necesario el cuidar la vida de pareja! Estamos también en ello y lo estamos consiguiendo! Este año me he propuesto tener tiempo también para mis amigas y amigos del alma literalmente q desde pequeños nos conocemos y seguimos en contacto pero que desde que fuimos padres/madres el tiempo no juega a nuestro favor.
Un abrazo muy fuerte para todos y mucha suerte y disfrute en vuestra unión/intercambio de lomilomi y Romiromi
Mahalo Vanessa, I really believe that as a strong foundation of love within a household, we can achieve great things and be exemplary of love and connection for our kids