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How to Transform Anger, Frustration and Resentment

Imagine what could happen if you took all the fire of your anger, frustration, and resentment and began using it to fuel a positive epidemic.

I heard an inspiring story this week from one of my lomi brothers. He was sharing about a time in his life where he was feeling out of control. Out of touch within himself.  Disconnected from others.  And the shift that changed everything.

He was raised in a Hawaiian family and was blessed with many gifts. Among them, the ability to see ancestors. To hear rocks speaking to him. The spiritual world felt like a very safe place to him.

However, in the physical world, he felt very misunderstood. He was always getting into trouble at home and testing his limits with others. He was carrying a lot of anger and didn’t know what to do it.

When these emotions came up, they made him want to fight someone or destroy something.

One day, an older man and friend of his parents asked, “Why are you so angry?”

“I don’t know.” (Typical teenager).

The man replied, “Well, you gotta be careful with that anger.  You gotta get control of it.  Otherwise, you might hurt someone. You might even hurt yourself.”

The man continued… “Try this.  Each time you feel angry why don’t you take that shovel right there and go dig a hole outside.”

The boy decided to give it a try.

The next time that friend came over, it was clear young ma had had pretty rough weekend.  Lots of anger. There were holes dug up all over the yard!

The friend said, “Oh, I can see you’ve been letting go of some of that anger, huh?  See those trees over there? We’re going to plant those banana trees in each one of those holes.”

Together, they took all of the banana keikis, saplings, and planted bananas.

A few months later, the man returned for a visit and said, “Okay, it’s time.”

The boy and his mentor went and harvested all of the bananas, loaded them up in the back of the truck and took them around to all the community members. 

Every stop was full of mahalos, thank yous, hugs, kisses and smiles.

“See, see what all your anger did?  By using all that energy for something good, look how much happiness you’ve given to people.”

That was the day my lomi brother decided that he wasn’t going to let anger get the best of him. He decided to use that energy for something good. He stopped giving his power to the anger and found the calm within.

Everything changed.

One of the herbs that we use to wash away anger is Olena. Olena is Hawaiian tumeric. We use it internally as a powerful anti-inflammatory and antibiotic. We also use Olena externally in cultural practice to wash over the body with intention to clear energies of anger, frustration and resentment.

If you find you have an emotion taking over and not allowing you to move from your place of light – of your true essence – turn that energy into something good.

Try this the next time you are feeling anger or resentment:

Get out in the garden and let the earth show you what she can create. The earth, the stones know what to do with these energies and can transform.

You don’t even need to plant anything. Just put you hands, heart or  piko, belly button, to Papa Honua Moku, Mother Earth. Humbly ask her to take away the heaviness from you.

Believe in the healing magic and be in gratitude that Ke Akua – Divine Spirit – has heard your request. 

One of our Hawaiian kumu, Abraham Kawai’i said, “Your space of existence is everything you are, do, and everything around you. Take responsibility for it and you are at the center of your power.”

We can stop blaming everyone and everything else for how we are feeling.  Begin to take responsibility for our actions, interactions, and any situation that we find ourselves in.

When we do this, we find ourselves at the center of our universe. Connected to all and all connected to us. We get to decide what to do with our energy. 

We can use that energy to bring more light to our lives, our communities and our world.

Have you ever had success turning anger, frustration or resentment into something positive?  Have a question for me?  I’d love to hear about it in the comments below:

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4 thoughts on “How to Transform Anger, Frustration and Resentment”

  1. Thanks for this post! I love digging in the dirt because of how healing it feels. Watching my garden grow and change is a daily pleasure too. I’ve been thinking about how important our environment is to regulate our moods and general well-being. I think it’s time to put more effort in my home since I tend to focus on making my work environment soothing for my clients more than my own home 🙂

  2. April 29, 2017
    Aloha Jeanna! Thank you for sharing how your friend learned to transform his feelings of much anger and resentment into a thing of happiness and beauty for himself and others. How truly fortunate he is to have an older friend of the family help him help himself change so dramatically in a positive way for life. A very inspiring story indeed. In awe and light! Mahalo! Ei

  3. Mahalo…this article is very timely. I appreciate the thought you put into these articles and the meanings of the stories you tell…they are always so helpful. Now, to go dig some holes…. 🙂

  4. I havent read the article yet, but a “bomb” jus literally fell on me!! I returned to my laptop and THIS email is on the screen!! Mahalo ke akua!!!!

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