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Love to Another Includes Love to Yourself

Aloha kekahi i kekahi

This is one of our Hawaiian proverbs that means love one to another. One of the most important things in loving others is to also first and foremost love yourself. Let me share a beautiful example of this truth…

I love to learn from our ‘Ohana, Lomi family, as I travel throughout the world teaching Lomi Lomi and the spiritual teachings of Aloha.

One of my dear friends, Maria Carmen Tomas Martinez, leads classes and Ho’oponopono circles in Spain. She’s an author of several books about the spirit of Aloha or ‘espíritu de Aloha’.

Earlier this year, Maria Carmen was planning to publish a book about healing practices. She asked me if I would contribute a chapter to the project about Lomi Lomi.

I was thrilled! I love to share about my experiences with Lomi Lomi. I can literally talk all day long about the wisdom found in this ancient Hawaiian practice. Yet every time I sat down to write, I encountered resistance.

It was as if I had developed writer’s block.

This seemed impossible! Lomi Lomi is a topic I’m so so very passionate about. I paused to consider, “Why am I having such a hard time with this?

One explanation, “I have too much material to put into one chapter.” So, I started to write out all of my ideas. But I kept getting blocked with semantics and sentence structure. Deciding where to put a comma became a chore.

I gave a lot of good reasons to justify procrastinating. And suddenly, 6 months had gone by!

In my mind, the project continued to get bigger and bigger and bigger, because I wasn’t taking action. Now, this one chapter felt like a giant thesis.

I decided to get some coaching. I worked to clarify my message and put my thoughts together in a cohesive way.

But deep inside, I was beginning to dread the project.

Instead of working on it, I began talking to others about how I have to do this chapter and questioning how I was going to get it done. I was stressed and completely disconnected from my intuition.

Somewhere along the way, I stopped listening. As I look back now, there were a lot of messages coming through to me that this wasn’t the right book to publish. That it was the wrong time. Or I need to approach the material from a different angle.

But I ignored the message. I made my identity as a “person who keeps my word” more important than my inner “knowing.”

I finally finished the chapter just before the deadline. I wasn’t happy with my final product. The energy around the book wasn’t joyful. It was stressed. Pushed. Forced.

I believe in Ho’ohana, to do your very best work. This chapter on Lomi Lomi wasn’t my best. It was definitely not an expression of my truth.

Loyal to a fault, I honored my word and sent the chapter off to Maria Carmen for her book.

Time to Listen

Many months later, I arrived in Spain and Maria Carmen picked me up from the airport. ’Please please forgive me.  I have something I need to share with you. I won’t be putting your chapter in my book,” she said.

‘Thank goodness’, I thought.

She began to share her why. And it was almost the exact same story I just shared with you. She felt blocked and wasn’t sure why. So, she started meditating on it.

What came through was that spirit told her this book needed to take a different direction. This book needed to be about her experience. Initially, she had planned a book based on compiling the work of others. She wanted to honor the influence of her teachers and their impact in her life.

Spirit told her what needed to come in this book was entirely hers. Even though she already had chapters from many other experts, like myself, this book was meant to speak exclusively through her experience.

“Thank you for listening to spirit when I wasn’t”, I said.

I went on to describe the challenges I’d been having in writing the book. She asked, ’Why didn’t you tell me you were feeling stressed out?  I would have absolutely said just don’t worry about it. We’ll figure something else out.”

We talked about my identity as someone who’s true to my word. What I discovered is, it’s not worth being true to your word to go against the guidance and message of spirit.

If you’re coming up against blocks, consider it’s because you need to take a step back. Take a deep breath and really listen to what it is you’re supposed to be doing. Listen like Maria Carmen.

The Mirrors All Around Us

For me, in that moment, Maria Carmen was a huge mirror. She also hadn’t told me for all those months because she was worried about what my reaction might be. In fact, I was the first teacher she told that she wouldn’t be using my material.

In that moment, I felt confident that all of the other teachers were going to respond in the same way I had. I knew they would give her their blessing as well, because it’s right.

When it’s the right thing, it feels right. You know in your heart what needs to happen.

Aloha kekahi i kekahi, love one to another. It takes courage to to tell someone “No, it’s not going to work out right now. Thank you so much.”

Maria Carmen had courage when I did not. I commend her for her willingness to love herself enough to follow spirit’s guidance.

This experience showed me where I was not loving myself. I wasn’t listening to myself and my own guidance. It illuminated where I was pushing and forcing to make someone else happy.

The Foundation of Love

Being loving one to another has to come from the right place. The place of love. The project couldn’t flow because it wasn’t coming from a place of love. Without love there was no alignment.

By the end of our conversation, we were both grateful and relieved.

Maria Carmen was empowered to go and share with the other teachers what she shared with me. She received confirmation that her response to her own intuitive guidance system was right and correct.

Aloha kekahi i kekahi, love to one another.

In our language, we greet one another with Aloha Kawa.  Kawa means you and I. Not just Aloha to you, it’s Aloha to you and I and it includes the one that’s speaking.

When we say aloha kokua that means all of us, including the speaker. So then, aloha kekahi i kekahi also has to include the person is speaking or sharing.

Loving ourselves is more important than saying yes because we think we should. It’s more important than making another person happy.

Coming from a place of love that includes loving yourself, ensures the mana, your divine personal power, you put into every interaction can be fruitful.

I can honestly say I’m happy my chapter didn’t go into Maria Carmen’s book. Not because the information wasn’t valuable but because it lacked mana and heart.

I don’t ever want to produce anything that doesn’t have mana and heart. So “Mahalo!” to Maria Carmen. Mahalo to spirit for showing me the way. Mahalo for the mirrors we have all around us all the time.

Share Aloha wherever you are. Even if it’s just a smile. And especially in your interactions with those that are opening themselves to receiving guidance and Aloha from spirit through your healing hands.

Is there something you need to say “no” to? Somewhere spirit is asking you to listen? Share the story with me in the comments below. I love to hear from you!

With aloha,

Kumu Jeana Iwalani Naluai

Access FREE video training here:

Free Lomi Lomi Training

You may also enjoy reading: 

Let Love In  |   The Meaning of Aloha   |   Working in the Natural Flow

Programs you will enjoy:

Elements of Hawaiian Healing  |  Lomi Lomi Fall 2019 Mastership

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24 thoughts on “Love to Another includes Love to Yourself”

  1. I wouldn’t be surprised if you heard something like “ZAP!!” as I was reading this!
    Such an appropriate message for me just now.
    Thank you, dear Friend, for sharing with your usual whole-souled honesty.
    You are a blessing!

    (…and I miss you!)
    Aloha

  2. There will come a time when your book will be born easily. Perhaps you can come visit the Dragonfly and we can talk/write it. I ask you what you want to communicate and you tell me what is important. We record and transcribe! Simple.

  3. While studying at the University, I took a class 4 hours a week for one semester called Interpersonal Relationships. It was a motivational class where I was taught how to express myself and say “no.” This class should be a requirement upon graduating high school!

    I understand the doubt and overthinking can betray me at times, as well as, save me at times. I am a painter and a massage therapist. I love to paint and I have been giving more of my time towards the arts and bringing opportunity and assistance to people. I have had to step over doubt and bypass negative thinking. I have also had to listen and follow that doubt sometimes to avoid certain people, events and possible opportunities due to gut feeling or knowing that I would be overextending myself.

    I invite everyone to branch out and lend a helping hand but don’t let situations or people grab on to your hand and pull you down.

    I strive for complete honesty and a loving relationship with myself. There is power in honest quitting.

  4. Aloha!
    What a positive development! See to me it is crucial to share your ownnexperience so we can show how our knowledge is applied both in our own life and sometimes with clients who might want to contribute. But, you should also know that procrastination feeling is what it is to overcome your ego in a sense of daring to believe it will be good enough and learning to let go and write from a place of service. It is also imoortant to sit with it first, think about what, how, why etc and it is the “procrastination block” that often produces friction energy to improve. It’s a process that most likely will be the same next time. And I share this from my own personal experience having worked as a paid professional copywriter for many years.

  5. Aloha Jeana!
    I understand your feeling. It let me tell you about my line’s hand. I have a line call “the simian line” which is hearth line and head line mix together. Some specialist explain me that would mean my rational and my emotions is mix as my lines and so I can’t split them up. If I broke up with an ex-girlfriend and my emotions want to start, I will get so much serious and be cold. On the other side, if I need to get money and I start a job that I don’t love, I will stay like.. 2 month maximum? but only after 2 weeks, I will be the worst employee because my mind will not be able to work because feelings inside me only want to get out of here so they freeze my “head”. Then, specialist said it’s a weakness, and at this point, I remind all what this weakness permit me and I asked myself “is that a real mistake to follow only what you feel good to you?” so I just laugh in my mind til she leaved.
    All of this only to say, sometimes, If we feel to get pushed and forced, maybe it’s because the good time isn’t now. The more you get stressed the more you get mistakes (Oh, I’m the worst in this case!✋). In an other way, I think you will feel your dream come true when you’ll see your non-perfect book, and, it’s great, because nothing is perfect in this world and it’s YOUR book.

    in this point let yourself do what you really want to share in your heart and don’t let your rationality get this book. I’m sure you can change the energy around it day by day, and even if this book is already finish and you can touch it anymore, take another paper to write what you really want to write, maybe this will help you get a more good energy.

    I share you a lot of energy and continue your mails, I love them and it practicing me so well (because I always need to work on my English before lomi-lomi fall mastership).

    1. Aloha Maxime, Mahalo for your kind response. You are correct that it is not yet my time. Although the book is brewing and will be whole heartedly ready when the time comes and when it is aligned with heart and mind. Mahalo nui

  6. Self love is one of my most important soul lessons this time around 😍❤️.

    Hope you and you beautiful family are doing fabulous…..

    Sending love, light, and energy 😘

  7. Aloha Jeana

    Just wanted you to know how much I appreciate and enjoy your newsletters!!! It is always like a gentle uplifting and nurturing Hawaiian breeze!

    Mahalo!!!

    And big hugs

    1. Awe, mahalo for the beautiful imagery. My vision is to allow these teachings to wrap the arms of Aloha around the globe and if you can feel the breeze from wherever you are writing from, then I am doing what I set out to do. Aloha

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